An ugly job, but it’s a living

Excuse me, I said, "no lettuce"

When Burger King came up with that weird ad campaign, the one where this scary bastard showed up in odd situations, I knew that somebody at BK’s HQ was high as a kite.

It may turn out that I was more right than wrong. The morons working at a Burger King in New Mexico seemed to have so much excess dope that they were having a little fun with it. Or they had smoked so much yerba that their few remaining brain cells had packed it in and died off.

ALBUQUERQUE — Two police officers have sued Burger King Corp., claiming they were served hamburgers that had been sprinkled with marijuana.

The lawsuit says Mark Landavazo and Henry Gabaldon, officers for the Isleta Pueblo tribal police, were in uniform and riding in a marked patrol car when they bought meals at the drive-through lane Oct. 8 of a Burger King restaurant in Los Lunas, N.M.

The officers ate about half of their burgers before discovering marijuana on the meat, the lawsuit said. They used a field test kit to confirm the substance was pot, then went to a hospital for medical evaluations.

This crap seems to be occurring more frequently that it used to. If I still worked uniform, I think I would either brownbag my lunch or just eat at places where I can watch the cook make my food.

You can just imagine the conversation that these brain surgeons must have had when they saw the po-po in the drive through. It started a little something like, “Dude, I’ve got a wicked cool idea.”, and most definitely never included the question: “but what if we get busted?”

They had an ad campaign once that pointed out that BK makes your burger to order. It included the phrase “special orders don’t upset us.” I hope that’s still in effect, because in the future I will be sure to specify “…and on that Whopper with cheese, make it – no pickles, and no weed, please.”

And, just in case you were wondering:

Three Burger King employees were arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and aggravated battery on an officer, a felony. They later were indicted.

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