An ugly job, but it’s a living


Cerberus at the gate is not affiliated with any government agency. And if it were (which it’s not – really) you probably couldn’t equate what I say with the actual policies or practices of any government agency. During much of my career I was frequently characterized as “being out of control” and “that guy who makes shit up as he goes”. The odds are good that if I did try to write this blog within official guidelines that I would completely fuck it up, and I know that the boredom level would be lethal.  If you want to read drivel, just Google “Chief of Police Blog” and you will find plenty of crap to bore you titless.

Cerberus is not an attorney (which allows his friends and family to actually acknowledge his existence) and this website is not in the business of providing advice, professional or otherwise. Articles contained herein are for entertainment purposes only. In other words, if you follow my advice and find yourself in a world of shit – I might feel sorry for you but it’s your fault for listening to me. Seriously, I am not your momma.

Unless quoting some other source, the names of all characters have been changed to protect the guilty. And the innocent (as if there were actually any innocents) just get tossed in with the rest. Any similarity between reality, real people, places or things and what you read here is unintentional and not intended to be identified with reality in any way.

No one under 17 admitted without parent or guardian approval. I am fluent in three languages: English, Spanish and English Profanity (I’m working to be fluent in Spanish Profanity). In other words, I say “fuck”, a lot. If you are offended I am a little sorry, but not real sorry. I blame the United States Marine Corps because it was there that I was once told that I would never be understood unless I threw in a fuck as every third word. Toss in a couple of decades of working in an environment in which the term motherfucker, said in the proper tone, was actually a complimentary term of endearment.

Lastly, comments may be your words but they are on my website and that makes them mine to do with as I think necessary. You can be as provocative as you want, but when you cross the line into abuse I will delete your comments or edit them depending on the situation. I may edit out the offending words, or I may rewrite your comment to make you look like a complete idiot – if you haven’t already done that. My 27 years of being lied to and fucked with by professionals has me well schooled in the art of paybacks. To sum it up, in the words of Will Smith in Men in Black – “Don’t Start Nothing, and There Won’t be Nothing.”Be nice and we will get along, be rude, and, you don’t have to go away mad – you just have to go away.